So, last night I wrote the second of two sex scenes in Transistor, and it got me thinking about my rules for writing sex scenes. Yes, I have rules for writing sex scenes, because that’s just how my life goes. The thing is those rules are why my sex scenes pretty much always get positive feedback. Because those rules make my sex scenes hot.
So, today, I’m going to share those rules for you, and I’m going to explain them.
1). Know your character’s likes and dislikes.
It’s important to know what your characters want and don’t want during sex. I can’t stress this enough. Sexual desires are part of your characters, (unless they’re ace), so knowing what they want in bed is part of their characterization. Knowing why they like it is equally important. For example, in Mail Order Bride, the alien species have a particular erogenous zone that carries a certain degree of cultural cache. No one thinks to explain this to the human, so it’s kind of a big deal when she finds out. In Transistor, the main character has a one night stand fairly early in the book, but later, when she actually is sex with the main love interest, it’s a far better experience for her because they’ve taken the time to talk about what she likes in bed, and her partner is able to meet those needs. This is the first rule, because it plays into the others.
2). Have a clear picture of what is happening in your head.
I can not stress this enough. Before you ever type a single word of the scene, you need to know exactly what your characters are going to do during the scene. Positions, specific sex acts. All of it. I usually run through a scene for or five times in my head before I write it. You might not need that many times, but it’s important to block it out, so you know exactly what is going on. This also goes back to the first rule. Knowing what your character does and does not like in bed will help you block out the scene.
3). Focus on emotion, not mechanics.
You’re not writing a Penthouse Letter. Focusing too much on tab A into slot B will leave your scene reading like instructions for assembling furniture instead of hot sex. This goes back to rule one. Know what your character likes and why they like it. Then, when the moment comes where they get it, tell us how it makes them feel. You have to know what’s going on, sure, but what makes the scene impactful, what makes it hot, is how it makes the people involved feel. Focus on that, and you’re 99% of the way there.
4). Use clear, simple language.
Don’t get flowery, don’t use purple prose. Don’t talk about the ‘pearl of her passion’. Use clear, simple language, both for the mechanics, and the emotions that go with it. You’re trying to convey what’s happening to your characters, physically and emotionally, and evoke a response in your readers. Now it not the time to use sentences your readers will need to go back and reread to figure out what you mean. Clear, simple language is a must.
5). The scene has to have an emotional arch.
Whatever you’re writing, be it a sex scene in your hard sci-fi epic, or one of dozens of sex scenes in your erotica magnum opus, every sex scene should have an emotional arc to it. The characters need to go through an emotional journey, and end in a place of catharsis. You’re writing sex. The emotion should build and build until the character comes to a moment of release. It’s how the reader vicariously experiences what’s on the page. This goes back to rules 1 and 2. What does the character want, and are they getting it? If they are, it’s a very different emotional journey than if they aren’t, and you need to figure that into the writing.
6). End the scene when the emotional journey is over.
Don’t drag the scene on past the end. Even if only one of the characters has gotten theirs, that might be all that’s needed for this scene. Once you’re reached the moment of catharsis, you’re done. This is why, generally, if I want to write a scene where I’m sure both characters finish on the page, the non-POV character receives first. That’s not a hard and fast rule, but it’s helpful. The point is, end the scene when it’s finished. Don’t drag it on, just to make sure everyone gets theirs on the page.
So, there you go. My rules for writing hot smut. Hope they help.