It’s 5:54 AM, and I’ve just sent what is probably one of the most personal things I have ever written off to my betas. I’m now ten thousand words into Transistor, and dear God, I had no idea how much of myself I would have to pour out onto the page in order to create this novel, or how much doing so would hurt. Every chapter I’ve written has felt like lancing an abscess, and watching the poison drain out.
I can’t help but think back to the post I made recently. How Reality Influences Writing. I’m definitely following my own advice about putting myself into my work, and it us both draining, and invigorating at the same time. I am honestly loving what I am putting on the page, though I’m not sure how that will translate into other people’s reactions.
All I can say is, this one is for me. This one is me being as honest as I can about my experiences as a trans woman. The things I’ve felt, the things I want to feel, my hopes, my dreams. It’s there on the page, and putting it there has been a bloodletting.
I hope, when its all finished, that you guys love it, but love it or hate it, I’ve told the truth.